A tale of bitterness.
I was told that my last post made me sound a little… bitter. And I suppose that is correct. My adventures in the world of dating have left a lot to be desired. I have been lucky enough to date one or two really great guys, but have also dated a bunch of, well, not so great guys.
There was the man who made sure to constantly let me know that in his opinion I was nowhere near good enough. He could not take criticism, but was very quick to give it. He would point out my figure flaws and what personality traits he saw as problematic. He would make a point to constantly remind me of the fact that my life wasn’t all tidy and put together. But neither was his (he ignored that fact, though). He refused to respect my boundaries. I was not equal to him, at least in his eyes. I put up with it for a month or two, thinking (stupidly) that things would change. We’d been friends for a few years. ”What had happened?”, I wondered. Things didn’t change, though, and I got dumped on Christmas Day.
There were the two men who completely denied me. Sure, they got involved with me. But to their friends, family, and those whom they dated after me, I was nonexistent. They denied even knowing me.
There was the man who stayed with me for nearly a year out of desperation. To be fair, I stayed with him mostly out of pity and convenience. In my mind, it was easier to stay with him and put up with all the crap than break his heart. For him it came down to the fact that I was his first (and still only) girlfriend, and he didn’t want to give that up. So when I finally got fed up with his patronizing me, treating me like a chore, and then embarrassing me in front of my family at a wedding, he went off the deep end. He called me every name under the sun (including the devil), said some very hurtful things, and even compared me to a pair of twos at best… a bad poker hand.
That doesn’t even account for the numerous men that I have simply gone out on a couple of dates with. There have been the men that have treated me like nothing but a piece of meat. There was the man was so full of himself that he started putting me down and eventually ditched me at dinner on our first date because I wasn’t enough of a girly girl or hot enough. I could go on and on, really…
The point is: Yes, I AM a bit bitter. I think any girl would be. And it is not that I am bitter because I haven’t settled down into the perfect relationship yet, or because I have incredibly high standards (because I don’t). I do not expect to find my one true love at 22. I do not expect grand gestures. I do not expect that age old traditions of courtship take place. But I DO expect and demand respect. I am a lady and I expect to be treated as such.
Men wonder why women are bitter and closed off. They wonder why we do not trust easily. These men fail to realize that it is their own kind that have caused us to be this way. In the end, its the nice guys-the truly respectful gentlemen, who get burned. Because when they are genuine and respectful and romantic and chivalrous, women do not trust them. It’s a tragedy, really.
